Breaking Free from the "Parent Trap" Pt. 2: How to Ditch the All-or-Nothing Mentality and Start Seeing Results

If you've ever thought, "If I can’t do a full workout, it’s not worth it," you’re not alone. So many parents fall into the all-or-nothing mentality—thinking that if they can’t commit to an hour at the gym, meal prep for the entire week, or follow a flawless workout plan, then why bother at all?

Let’s be real: perfect isn’t happening. Not when you have kids, a job, and a never-ending to-do list. And you know what? It doesn’t need to. Because perfection isn’t the goal—progress is. In fact, I’m actively working to remove the word perfect from my vocabulary altogether because perfect kills progress just as quickly as impossible does.

Why the All-or-Nothing Mentality Is Holding You Back

The problem with an all-or-nothing mindset is that it usually leads to... well, nothing. If you believe that missing one workout or eating one “off-plan” meal ruins everything, you’ll keep stopping and starting over. And that’s exhausting.

Consistency beats intensity every time. Showing up imperfectly but regularly will always get you further than short-lived bursts of perfection.

Shifting from “All or Nothing” to “Always Something”

So how do you break free from this black-and-white thinking? Here are five ways to start making real, sustainable progress—no matter how busy you are.

1. Redefine Success

  • Success isn’t about perfect execution; it’s about doing something most days.

  • Instead of “I must work out five days a week,” try “I’ll move my body in some way every day.”

  • Instead of “I need a strict diet,” focus on making better choices most of the time.

2. Embrace the Power of Micro-Workouts

  • Who says workouts have to be an hour long? Ten minutes is better than zero.

  • Try quick, efficient workouts:

    • 5-minute bodyweight circuits between meetings

    • Squats, lunges, and push-ups while watching your kids play

    • A 10-minute walk after dinner

3. Stop Beating Yourself Up for “Off” Days

  • One missed workout or indulgent meal doesn’t undo everything.

  • What you do most of the time matters way more than what you do some of the time.

  • Instead of saying, “I failed,” ask, “What’s the next best choice I can make?”

4. Make Health and Fitness Fit YOUR Life

  • Your workouts should work for you—not the other way around.

  • If you’re exhausted, do a 15-minute stretch instead of skipping movement altogether.

  • If meal prep overwhelms you, focus on quick, simple meals instead of trying to cook like a nutritionist.

5. Commit to the 80/20 Rule

  • 80% consistency beats 100% effort that lasts two weeks.

  • Aim for mostly healthy choices, but leave room for flexibility.

  • Give yourself permission to enjoy food, rest when needed, and embrace the long game.

The Bottom Line

Perfection isn’t the answer—consistency is. You don’t have to “start over” every time life gets messy. Instead of aiming for all or nothing, start aiming for always something.

Your future self doesn’t need a perfect plan. They just need you to show up today, in whatever way you can.

So, what’s one small step you can take right now to move forward? Let’s do that.

David SkolnikComment